We are reaching the end of our stay here. Lea and I will be leaving in a few days. (Kimberly already returned to Madison to resume her teaching job.) And what a stay it has been. A big learning experience for all three of us. And I can't recall seeing Lea so happy as she is here. She runs and laughs and plays and sings and dances with young Jose. And Lisset acts the caring and devoted older sister. What a gift to get to come here, to be here, and to be so openly and warmly welcomed.
Since Kimberly has left, Lea has practically lived at Jose and Aurora's house. And I've been there almost as much, sometimes for two meals a day. And every time I come in, I am politely greeted at the door, asked to come in, to sit down, and encouraged to eat of whatever the family has on the table.
One evening, Lea and I came over rather unexpectedly for dinner. Our friends accommodated us easily and graciously. There was a plate of chicken cutlets. They were delicious. After everyone had some chicken, Lea finished her first piece of chicken off and asked for another. There were two remaining on the plate for everyone (including some adults with big appetites), so I began to cut one in half to give to her. This was met with immediate protests and I was chided to give here the whole piece! Which she ate. And others at the table filled up on beans and tortillas. That is the kind of generosity I have found here.
I will carry with me some of the conversations I've had with our close friends and also with folks I don't know. Chats about what it's like for Mexicans to work in the US. About how hard and hardened the immigration authorities in the US are. About how a tobacco farmer treats the Mexicans who come to work for him each year like cattle--not even greeting them when they arrive year after year but merely telling them when they need to be ready to work. About what happens when a migrant worker is injured on the job and left to suffer and go unpaid besides. About how hard things are here economically.
Conversations about how much they have fiestas here and the joy they take in each day and in each other. About how important family is. About how in the US we have lots of material wealth but come up lacking in so many important and human ways.
Some scenes:
Lea and I are walking by the highway, where there are a few nearby food stands--mudsplashed and worn, with dogs and kids running around. I find myself taken by surprise to see a couple musicians sitting at a table playing instruments and singing. The owner waves us over--not once but several times, and I am able to convince Lea to stop for a moment. So we take a seat and listen to the musicians while the owner engages me in conversation, wondering about where we are from and wanting to tell me about his experience in the states. Turns out all they have to eat are beef tacos, so although it's the last thing I want to eat at 11am on a Saturday morning, I ask for one. And all there is to drink is Coca-Cola, so I take one of those as well. The early hour doesn't seem to slow the musicians who are getting into the music between soda with tequila. Soon they are playing a tune I requested and they ask me to get up and dance. Well, I'm all in, so what the heck. And who'd have ever thought that's what I'd be doing on a random Saturday morning but there I was!
We had our friends over for dinner one night and had the chance to sit and platicar a bit. I told them that I was learning a lot from them, for example, about how to parent. I asked my friend if he had a good model of how to be a dad. He shook his head. No. So I asked how he managed to be such an amazing father. "Whatever my father did, I did the opposite. He never spent time with us as a family so we always do things together as a family. He never hugged me or told me he loved me, so I do that all the time." And once again I was left touched, and in wonder. Not just about him, although certainly that is true as well, but about us human beings and how amazing we can be, given what we have been through. A testament. Once again, a gift was offered to me. Once again, a lesson.
10 January 2010
It's a kind of running joke here between our families, that next time, they'll come visit us. Fact is, it would be very unlikely that they would be able to come visit us. For one thing, they would be required to have a huge amount of money in the bank (secondly they'd have to spend hundreds of dollars (US) to get passports and to even request a US Visa (with no assurance that they would get one). Plus the relatively huge expense of travel for a family of four. Maybe one day, Lisset and Josecito might make it to Madison, perhaps to study for a time. That would be a great blessing.
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