Shots from Tepoz

At the top of Cerro del Tesoro with our friends Jose, Aurora, Lisset and Josecito. Amazing view from here, including a great distant vista of Popocatepetl, a volcano some distance away.

On our way down from the peak, we came across a very poor neighborhood, with houses made of laminate, wooden posts, plastic and pieces of cloth.



A nearby barbed-wire fence serves as a clothesline.


On another very different occasion, a sister of a friend of a friend invited us to a wedding at La Santisima, a small church downtown. (You'll read more about this below.)



On the night of January 6, Los Reyes Magos visit children across Mexico, bringing gifts to those whose letters they like and who are well-behaved. Lea had help writing her letter (in Spanish of course) from Lisset. And, lo and behold, the next morning Los Reyes had brought her a stuffed doggie, which she promptly named "Huesos" or "Bones."


In front of our casita.

Winding down in Tepoz, thoughts from Brian

We are reaching the end of our stay here. Lea and I will be leaving in a few days. (Kimberly already returned to Madison to resume her teaching job.) And what a stay it has been. A big learning experience for all three of us. And I can't recall seeing Lea so happy as she is here. She runs and laughs and plays and sings and dances with young Jose. And Lisset acts the caring and devoted older sister. What a gift to get to come here, to be here, and to be so openly and warmly welcomed.

Since Kimberly has left, Lea has practically lived at Jose and Aurora's house. And I've been there almost as much, sometimes for two meals a day. And every time I come in, I am politely greeted at the door, asked to come in, to sit down, and encouraged to eat of whatever the family has on the table.

One evening, Lea and I came over rather unexpectedly for dinner. Our friends accommodated us easily and graciously. There was a plate of chicken cutlets. They were delicious. After everyone had some chicken, Lea finished her first piece of chicken off and asked for another. There were two remaining on the plate for everyone (including some adults with big appetites), so I began to cut one in half to give to her. This was met with immediate protests and I was chided to give here the whole piece! Which she ate. And others at the table filled up on beans and tortillas. That is the kind of generosity I have found here.

I will carry with me some of the conversations I've had with our close friends and also with folks I don't know. Chats about what it's like for Mexicans to work in the US. About how hard and hardened the immigration authorities in the US are. About how a tobacco farmer treats the Mexicans who come to work for him each year like cattle--not even greeting them when they arrive year after year but merely telling them when they need to be ready to work. About what happens when a migrant worker is injured on the job and left to suffer and go unpaid besides. About how hard things are here economically.

Conversations about how much they have fiestas here and the joy they take in each day and in each other. About how important family is. About how in the US we have lots of material wealth but come up lacking in so many important and human ways.

Some scenes:
Lea and I are walking by the highway, where there are a few nearby food stands--mudsplashed and worn, with dogs and kids running around. I find myself taken by surprise to see a couple musicians sitting at a table playing instruments and singing. The owner waves us over--not once but several times, and I am able to convince Lea to stop for a moment. So we take a seat and listen to the musicians while the owner engages me in conversation, wondering about where we are from and wanting to tell me about his experience in the states. Turns out all they have to eat are beef tacos, so although it's the last thing I want to eat at 11am on a Saturday morning, I ask for one. And all there is to drink is Coca-Cola, so I take one of those as well. The early hour doesn't seem to slow the musicians who are getting into the music between soda with tequila. Soon they are playing a tune I requested and they ask me to get up and dance. Well, I'm all in, so what the heck. And who'd have ever thought that's what I'd be doing on a random Saturday morning but there I was!

We had our friends over for dinner one night and had the chance to sit and platicar a bit. I told them that I was learning a lot from them, for example, about how to parent. I asked my friend if he had a good model of how to be a dad. He shook his head. No. So I asked how he managed to be such an amazing father. "Whatever my father did, I did the opposite. He never spent time with us as a family so we always do things together as a family. He never hugged me or told me he loved me, so I do that all the time." And once again I was left touched, and in wonder. Not just about him, although certainly that is true as well, but about us human beings and how amazing we can be, given what we have been through. A testament. Once again, a gift was offered to me. Once again, a lesson.


10 January 2010
It's a kind of running joke here between our families, that next time, they'll come visit us. Fact is, it would be very unlikely that they would be able to come visit us. For one thing, they would be required to have a huge amount of money in the bank (secondly they'd have to spend hundreds of dollars (US) to get passports and to even request a US Visa (with no assurance that they would get one). Plus the relatively huge expense of travel for a family of four. Maybe one day, Lisset and Josecito might make it to Madison, perhaps to study for a time. That would be a great blessing.

Some tales and musings during our stay, from Brian's journal

22 December 2009

The sun is shining on my face as I write from the backyard of our home here. Back in Madison it is snowing. The sun is as a gift to me. As is El Cerro del Hombre, which rises above the trees to my left. The dogs are still barking, the roosters still crowing.

Yesterday, our first full day here, Jose and Aurora invited us over for a delicious meal of enchiladas verdes. It was absolutely delicious. She said she would have us over for mole later in the week. Such a generous people here! So deeply caring.

I finally connected with Mariana, the leader of our co-counseling group yesterday. Tomorrow we'll be going to our first Tepoztlan Co-Counseling support group! I can hardly wait!

I have noticed that the feelings and patterns are amplified here. I think because there are fewer distractions and I am out of my normal scene. Walking through the cobblestone streets, I am aware that I often feel lousy, good-for-nothing, useless. I think that's what classism and US domination has reaped for me and for us. I am determined to fight it and to not believe it.

Here in Mexico, I am an ally and I have allies. Our relationships are good. And yet they are loaded with an oppressive history. I am in the dark when it comes to the history of US domination of the world, including this specific part of the world. I was not taught that we stole half of the territory of this nation. That California, Texas, Arizona and New Mexico belonged to Mexico and was taken in a bold-faced usurping of power and control. I was not taught that the drug dealers we have learned to fear grew fat off the excess wealth my fellow USers spend on illegal drugs, such as marijuana, cocaine and heroin.

Nor was I taught that I could have allies and be an ally to these people. That we have something to offer one another.


24 December 2009

Yesterday was a full day. I started early with a ride up to Los Ocotes with Jose to feed the dogs and collect wood for the fire back at his house, where Aurora was continuing to cook mole in a huge clay pot over a fire. I had helped stir the mole the night before during the mass and service for Jose's dad's "levanta de la cruz." The mole had to be constantly stirred as it cooked over a fire. At one point, the thickening liquid began to boil and it would splatter my shirt--and once or twice stung me across my face. Meanwhile all the seats were filled with family and friends and I was pleased to be helping out, almost as family, while the Vargas family hosted the service. Clouds of smoky incense from a bowl of charcoal and crystallized pine sap wafted through the air, mixing with the wood fire under the mole. I held what was like a small canoe paddle in my hands, stirring the mixture of nuts, raisins, tortilla, bread, seeds, chocolate, oil, water, chiles, in a clay vessel about a meter across.

Then, this afternoon after our procession through the streets of Tepoztlan to raise the cross for Jose's dad, (and a toast with soda and tequila) we headed back to the house and I had the opportunity to relish the mole along with Jose and Aurora and Kimberly as we savored the rich taste of mole with chicken, beans, rice and tortillas. Afterward, we all wore mole on our face or clothes. We joked that that is how you can tell when someone has been to a fiesta is that they wear mole!

We also made it to our first co-counseling (co-escucha) support group, which was excellent. Mariana now lives in a new place with an incredible view, and Kimberly and I (it turns out!) had no trouble finding the place and even arrived on time! We did news and goods (buenas nuevas) and then mini sessions, when Tona joined us. It was great to see her again too. Mariana read to us from some of Tim Jackin's writing about the holiday season and then she counseled all of us. It was very very good. What a gift to have that here, for us. A support group in Tepoztlan!


27 December 2009

Jose moved to the crowded living quarters adjacent to his metalworking workshop because last year, his father was sick and dying. That left just his grandfather, abueloito, living there. So Jose moved his family from their home in the cool quiet hills above the village in order to take care of his father and abuelo. What I have learned from this man about what it means to be human and what it means to prioritize ones family over ones own personal comfort or convenience.

What I have learned from my friend who sits doing time in the Green Bay Correctional Institution, one of Wisconsin's most notorious prisons, who taught me about what it means to be a devoted father and committed friend. How before I became a father, he showed me that I could be a father. That I had what it took to take on that job. I remember one day getting a call from him, long after he had been imprisoned and thinking to myself (characteristically) he is calling for support. And answering the phone call because it is so hard to make a call from prison and because he has so little support. Lo and behold, he was calling to support ME. To ask about my mother and her failing health.

From a colleague on campus who is willing to let me know when I say or do something that reeks of privilege and doesn't write me off or throw up her hands in discouragement, but who helps hold out for me my ideals.


29 December 2009

We were invited to a wedding here--our first Mexican boda. A singer/comic is on the stage. At one point he says to the group. "Women are bad.... Except when they are asleep." Here I am, perhaps the only white, American-born man in a crowd of 250. Squirming. With my wife and daughter who probably didn't understand what he said, they are so busy taking in their surroundings.

But I just remembered that later, he called me up front. I COULD have said something. What stopped me? Feeling awkward, risking humiliation. Not wanting to act out at the oppressor. Maybe I could have made a joke (in SPANISH? Yikes, that would have been hard.). Mira. Una cosa. Sobre lo que tu nos diciste antes. No estoy de acuerdo. Las mujeres NO SON MALOS. LAS MUJERES son buenos. Para probarlo, tengo una esposa increible alla, y una nina fabulosa alla.

Holy shit. Could I have taken the microphone from him and said that? Yes I COULD HAVE. YES it was my place. Holy f-in shit.



8 January 2010

I have had the opportunity to do a LOT of listening. To hear a LOT of stories. Of the Mexican woman who, upon returning to her hometown in Mexico because her father was dying was apprehended by immigration and so now cannot return to the US, where she had a job she loved, a husband, and friends. As she told me her story and I learned more about her, I told her in my halting Spanish that I was ashamed of the policies of my country towards her and her fellow Mexicans. There was a long pause, and I began to feel that she didn't understand what I was trying to say. But then she looked me in the eyes and said tearfully, no one has ever said that to me before. And we let that moment sit there, between us, two people who had been so deceptively separated from each other and from each others' experiences.

Agostín, a brother-in-law of one of my dear friends. As I chatted with him, I asked him about his children, he said he had one son who was 10 and a daughter who was 2. And then a moment later he corrected him self, apologizing, to say that "no, his son was actually 12." I thought that was kind of interesting that he would be off on his own son's age by two years. And then I asked some more about his life, only to learn that for the past 7 years, he has traveled to eastern Canada, on contract, to work in the greenhouses from April till December. Eight months out of every year for the past seven years. And he would be returning again this coming year. In other words, because of the global economic situation, this young man spends two-thirds of every year two international borders and thousands of kilometers away from his wife and two kids. He confessed to me that sometimes he hardly feels that he knows his kids.


Here is a brief video clip from the wedding and me up in front of the crowd, having been called up "volunteered" (not!) by the MC. If you know some Spanish you might catch the joke he makes at my expense about halfway through. Anyone? :-)

Some shots from our return visit

Jose's brother Eduardo is sporting his new Badger hat!


Another futbol game with Los Reyes in our favorite soccer field surrounded by mountains and cactus fields!


The card game "Uno" has been quite a hit with our friends, here including Josecito, Lisset, Feliciano and Abi.


Jocelyn joins her cousins in this photo op captured by Kimberly.


Lea can't decide if she's a vaquera (cowgirl) or herrera (blacksmith). Both are good options in this village.

At the celebration of Los Reyes Magos (the three kings), we experienced a "torrito" for the first time. It was an absolute blast. I was thinking this sort of thing would probably be illegal in the US but what fun! You can see Lea, the only "guerita" (white kid) in the bunch trying to go after the pieces of candy exploding off of the torrito.

Check out this fun fun fun video of the "torrito," and exploding bull that is like an unpredictable piñata with fireworks!

Kimberly reflects....

December 30, 2009

It’s amazing that our return to Tepoztlan, Mexico nine months after our three-month-stay almost feels like we have continued our journey here right where we left off. We’re staying in the same house, and were met at the bus stop by our good friends Jose, Aurora, Lisset and Josecito. Instantly, the kids were running down the street arm and arm which was oh, so beautiful to see.

Although a little stilted, we all started back with our Spanish and within a few days, eased into our relaxed life here. The sun shines its warm rays just about all the time, which is such a blessing coming from intense winter. Daily, we’ve been enjoying the fresh fruit, particularly papayas, mandarinas, platanos, and aguacate from the local tiendas (small shops) and open market in the town square.

Since our friends have let us into their lives like family, there has been an open door for us into what life is traditionally like day-to-day here. We arrived in time for the one-year anniversary of the death of Jose’s dad. Brian and Lea joined a procession from their house to the cemetery where a metal cross was raised over the burial spot. Then we came back for enchiladas with mole. Other homemade meals prepared by Aurora included our favorite: enchiladas con salsa verde. Wow, is homemade cooking here amazing!

Nochebuena (Christmas eve) was quit an experience. All of the local barrios (neighborhoods) gather together at their local churches for prayer before a late night walk in candlelight down to the huge Cathedral in the center of town. It was an incredible sight to see all these different groups of people come together with the glow of their candles. The mass stretched across the entire huge yard of the Cathedral, with children of all ages at foot and fireworks going off here and there throughout the entire village. Then everyone went back to their own church for café & treats, and community gifts for all. (We were too tired to take part in this part, which was around 1 or 2am!) The beautiful, colorful piñatas were hanging everywhere during Navidad, with carefully crafted nativity scenes at every corner. Very interesting for a Jewish family to be a part of!

Other highlights so far were the birthday party we went to which was for Jose and Aurora’s nephew. Tamales were prepared and with Kimberly being the only vegetarian in the crowd, mushroom tamales for her. The people are just so warm, welcoming, loving, laid back and considerate! The most memorable moment of the party was when his friends pushed the Bday boy’s head into the cake--a tradition in these parts. Laughter and smiles abound!

We also were invited to a traditional church wedding and reception afterward which was quit an experience. The Mariachi band was fabulous, and Brian surprised Lea and Kimberly as he went on stage in front of a couple hundred people to dance and be teased by the lead singer. And remember, all of this is in Spanish!

We spent the day hiking with our friends, and this year climbed the peak known as “Tesoro,” which is the namesake for our street. Similar to last year, it was a difficult hike for us (about 6 hours long) so you could imagine what a trooper Lea and the other kids were! It was really nice for us all to share sandwiches together on one of the peaks, and at day’s end, all relax with helado (ice cream) together.

Kimberly has continued her morning runs in the fútbol field surrounded by mountains that she loves (she’s kind of known around here as the runner). She’s also enjoyed early morning hikes up to the pyramid with other friends from the village. Brian does his periodic run/ walk with Jose in the morning, and yoga has been part of our daily routine.

We’ve continued our involvement here with the Tepoztlan co-counseling group, which has been a blessing for us. As much as every day here feels like a gift, feelings certainly come up. Life is just so dramatically different than the life we’re living at home that we have to face the patterns of urgency, rushed ways, and how much emphasis we put on what we do opposed to how we do it. So, there’s also a lot of contemplation that goes on here for us.

Overall, we feel incredibly blessed to have made it back, and are hoping to return for an even longer time than our initial visit in the future. (Kimberly has decided that she wants to commit herself to speaking Spanish fluently.) What an incredible place that we landed. In fact, on the sides of all the taxis here is a slogan: “ Tepoztlan: Pueblo Mágico.” There’s absolutely no doubt that indeed, we’ve felt that magic of this glorious village and its inhabitants!